Friday, December 5, 2008
Friends of Friends of Friends
A friend of a friend of a friend of mine died last week. That wouldn't usually cause much disruption in the space-time continuum, but in the online world it can set of ripples that wash on relatively strange shores.
In this case, it prompted a friend of a friend of mine--Merlin Missy--to write an essay about friendship and fandom. I think she captures really well the sort of community/friendship online interactions capture, and the ambivalences and joys of it.
I know things about relative strangers online that I have nothing similar for with some of my oldest friends. I have an acquaintance--really not even a friend!--who I've watched go through a horrible, difficult pregnancy that she doesn't want, watched her agonize over how she thought her husband would love and cherish her more if she did this (he doesn't). I see people's posts made late at night, maybe when they've been drinking a little more than they should, and they can wail about everything bad in their lives. People spill their dreams and hopes and fears out into the ether, and how can I not know them in a way that's both more facile and more meaningful, perhaps, than the people I see face to face? Maybe it's not quite the same as tried-and-tested friendship, but it's an undeniable sense of intimacy.
As a side note of oddness, Merlin Missy mentions in her article that weird sense of intimacy--"Reminder to self: Wil Wheaton and Neil Gaiman are not your friends, no matter how well you think you know them." Well, Wheaton (child star of "Star Trek: The Next Generation" and UberGeek of the Internets*) linked up to her article. In the comments on his article, I see the name of another friend of a friend.
The Internet: most gigantic small town in the history of humanity.
It's like last week fellow-blogger Fresca mentioned Samuel Delany in a post and he stopped by to compliment her writing. Uh...I was the person who commented after him and I tried to stay cool, but I was so tempted to write something like "HOLY CRAP FRESCA THAT'S DELANY COMMENTING ABOVE ME OMG OMG OMG!!!!1!1!!!"
Life is a strange and wonderful place.
*True story: Wil Wheaton's cat died slightly after mine did a few years ago, and I wrote him a quick note to tell him he was in my thoughts, never really expecting he'd read it. He wrote back a personal email. I almost died. How can Wil Wheaton possibly answer even half of the email he must get, it would have to be a full-time job! He's just the coolest.
In this case, it prompted a friend of a friend of mine--Merlin Missy--to write an essay about friendship and fandom. I think she captures really well the sort of community/friendship online interactions capture, and the ambivalences and joys of it.
I know things about relative strangers online that I have nothing similar for with some of my oldest friends. I have an acquaintance--really not even a friend!--who I've watched go through a horrible, difficult pregnancy that she doesn't want, watched her agonize over how she thought her husband would love and cherish her more if she did this (he doesn't). I see people's posts made late at night, maybe when they've been drinking a little more than they should, and they can wail about everything bad in their lives. People spill their dreams and hopes and fears out into the ether, and how can I not know them in a way that's both more facile and more meaningful, perhaps, than the people I see face to face? Maybe it's not quite the same as tried-and-tested friendship, but it's an undeniable sense of intimacy.
As a side note of oddness, Merlin Missy mentions in her article that weird sense of intimacy--"Reminder to self: Wil Wheaton and Neil Gaiman are not your friends, no matter how well you think you know them." Well, Wheaton (child star of "Star Trek: The Next Generation" and UberGeek of the Internets*) linked up to her article. In the comments on his article, I see the name of another friend of a friend.
The Internet: most gigantic small town in the history of humanity.
It's like last week fellow-blogger Fresca mentioned Samuel Delany in a post and he stopped by to compliment her writing. Uh...I was the person who commented after him and I tried to stay cool, but I was so tempted to write something like "HOLY CRAP FRESCA THAT'S DELANY COMMENTING ABOVE ME OMG OMG OMG!!!!1!1!!!"
Life is a strange and wonderful place.
*True story: Wil Wheaton's cat died slightly after mine did a few years ago, and I wrote him a quick note to tell him he was in my thoughts, never really expecting he'd read it. He wrote back a personal email. I almost died. How can Wil Wheaton possibly answer even half of the email he must get, it would have to be a full-time job! He's just the coolest.
// posted by Jennifer @ 9:40 PM 
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