From Maine to Japan

One of the things that drives me craziest about romance comics is the advice columns. Most comics would run a "self-help" column--usually, not surprisingly, on how to catch and keep a man. This advice is usually completely crazy-making and I end up with a sense of free-floating anxiety just reading them. Like the following:


A lot of that isn't even bad advice! Don't be narcissistic, get a job (if your husband doesn't mind!), don't worry about your looks because your character is more important. And yet of course the underlying crazy-making is the message "Don't be too obsessed with catching a man--BECAUSE YOU'LL NEVER CATCH A MAN THAT WAY!" There's an insane catch-22 to a lot of this, like the upper right column: you shouldn't be a perfectionist. Why? Because people with unrealistic ideals of beauty often don't even bother trying anymore. So you mustn't be a perfectionist--because it will stop you from looking perfect!

And of course there's a definite feeling that staying too glamorous after marriage is just asking for trouble. No, you should be focused on being emotionally supportive to your husband, not on looking good (because there might be a chance you're dressing up for another man?) Be selfish by appearing to be selfless--men like that in a woman, and so you'll selfishly get to keep your man.

It's like reading a demented Alice in Wonderland set of rules in which every rule ends up doing just the opposite of what it says.

Labels: romance