From Maine to Japan

One of the things that drives me craziest about romance comics is the advice columns. Most comics would run a "self-help" column--usually, not surprisingly, on how to catch and keep a man. This advice is usually completely crazy-making and I end up with a sense of free-floating anxiety just reading them. Like the following:


A lot of that isn't even bad advice! Don't be narcissistic, get a job (if your husband doesn't mind!), don't worry about your looks because your character is more important. And yet of course the underlying crazy-making is the message "Don't be too obsessed with catching a man--BECAUSE YOU'LL NEVER CATCH A MAN THAT WAY!" There's an insane catch-22 to a lot of this, like the upper right column: you shouldn't be a perfectionist. Why? Because people with unrealistic ideals of beauty often don't even bother trying anymore. So you mustn't be a perfectionist--because it will stop you from looking perfect!

And of course there's a definite feeling that staying too glamorous after marriage is just asking for trouble. No, you should be focused on being emotionally supportive to your husband, not on looking good (because there might be a chance you're dressing up for another man?) Be selfish by appearing to be selfless--men like that in a woman, and so you'll selfishly get to keep your man.

It's like reading a demented Alice in Wonderland set of rules in which every rule ends up doing just the opposite of what it says.

Labels: romance

From Young Brides, a truly nutty story of a guy who decides his widower father needs a wife. His father finally agrees to send his son down the "Frisco" to pick out a bride for him. Not terribly surprisingly, when the guy picks out the perfect woman, he promptly falls in love with her. When he gets all noble about it, the woman is refreshingly annoyed:


"Rar! I promised my Dad a woman, and I'm bringing him a woman!"

But when she arrives, she blurts out that she can't marry the father. The father is pretty phlegmatic about the whole thing:


As it turns out, he got married while his son was gone. :) Weirdest matchmaking ever? Perhaps! But everyone lives happily ever after...

Labels: romance

This week, the romantic story of two doormats who waste years of their life in service of a sociopath! He was an abusive liar, but the two who loved him would only murmur..."Blame it on My Heart!"

(I swear, I wanted to slap both of the romantic leads REALLY HARD in this one).





I think it's pretty clear Tod's got a thing for Jerry as well (I'm not sure why a boy would be showing another boy the "buttercup under the chin" trick, lol).



That...really should have been a deal-breaker. But no, darn that Jerry, his cold-blooded psychopathic charm is just too much!









And I can only conclude that these two wet sponges are perfectly suited to each other...at least until another crazy abuser comes along (or, more likely, Jerry swears he has mended his ways) and they both fall all over themselves to please him...

Labels: romance

Another romance comic about money! This one features a heroine who is apparently legitimately mousy but sweet, and who shows a surprising amount of spine and spark when betrayed. She crumples soon after, of course, but I still do enjoy the tongue-lashing she gives her brother and lover when she discovers their..."Tragic Bargain!"



The preponderance of men with pipes in romance comics cracks me up, somehow. It seems to have been a sign of...suavity? Sophistication? Something like that...which is odd as the romantic lead in this one isn't particularly suave at all...

Despite dedicating herself to her brother and niece's happiness to the exclusion of love, Fay happens one day to run into a handsome man. Later, he seeks her out and they fall in love. But after their clinch, trouble begins to surface in paradise:




I'm not exactly sure I follow the logic of that ending, but ah well. For a self-sacrificing Angel of the House, Fay shows a surprising amount of spine, all things considered. And I guess I'm glad to see her out from under her brother's paternalistic thumb a bit...I just kind of wish she'd kept walking until she found a job and a life somewhere else!

Labels: romance

I like this one not only for the melodrama of a woman falling in love the day before her wedding, but also for a couple of traditional romance comic tropes that appear.



The "trapped in a revolving door" moment is...surprisingly erotic there, I think.

They run into each other later the same day and he decides it must be fate, and takes her out to dinner.

I love the next set of panels for the romance comic tears--crying is of course very common in romance comics and yet very, very difficult to portray in art. So romance comics tend to have incredibly stylized tears, as below:




I also love the broken...language...of...despair! And yet despite the crushing melodrama I think the art and writing actually do pretty good job of conveying the rather ludicrous situation...

The next day she puts on her wedding dress, but cannot bear to go to the ceremony and wanders the streets aimlessly, finding herself back where she met her love the night before.

I assume this is a drawing fluke, but her true love looks rather taken aback to find that she's available.

And so stoic Donald goes off into the sunset, sadder and wiser, and hopefully less likely to get engaged to women who fall in love with people because they get stuck in a revolving door with them.

Labels: romance

I was mentioning to Rudyinparis that a LOT of women's comics plots revolve around class issues--either fantasies where love overcomes class barriers, or more sobering tales where even the deepest passion can't survive the pressures of class.

"One Reckless Moment!" starts with an impetuous young heiress going into a waterfront dive on a whim, where she meets Mr. Tall Dark and Handsome himself:



Mmm, a big, grimy hulk of a man. I'm struck with how the artist struggles with drawing a man who isn't a traditional clean-cut guy. He clearly feels a lot happier when Joe shaves later...



(He kisses her again...and she doesn't mind!)

I also like how his shirt apparently gets ripped open with the force of that blazing kiss. Though I must admit that panel has an energy lacking in a lot of romance comics...







They decide to get married anyway, but when they throw a party and invite both his and her friends, it becomes clear how impossible the divide between them is.



Well, that was a bummer. Love does not always conquer all in the heated prose of romance comics!

Labels: romance

When I was a wee lass, visiting my grandmother's, my sister and I found a box full of musty romance comics that had belonged to my uncle. We consumed enough of them that we were capable of drawing our own "fake romance covers" later (I wish I could find those now!).

Thanks to the wonders of the Internet, I've gotten my hands on some vintage romance comics from the 50s-70s. Fun, sometimes very crazy stuff. For example: Forbidden Future! a cautionary tale of the dangers that divorce will wreck on your life, with a sentimental happy ending thrown in for the bargain (you couldn't count on romance comics having happy endings, by the way--each title had a different "tone," and some leaned heavily toward "she learned too late" sorts of stories).

In Forbidden Future! (yes, the exclamation point is necessary!), a young divorcee returns to her home town to discover that her reputation is permanently soiled by her hasty actions:



Our heroine explains her sad situation:



There's a pretty creepy near-rape scene:





The doctor and she fall madly in love, but she's afraid to marry him because his patients may shun him for marrying such a loose woman. He supports her, but she decides to flee town rather than ruin his life:



I love the 180 degree turn of the town scold there. :)

So in summary: divorce might ruin your reputation, but if you manage to save a busload of school children from a blazing death, you can salvage it somewhat! No problem!

Labels: romance